A bit of a laugh for everyone.

For some reason today I was thinking about English comedy and one comedian in particular came to mind.

Peter Kay is his name and I have included this video so you can make your own mind up!



So let me know what you think.

I also remembered this email that I got years ago so I dug it out. I'm not totally sure all the lines were actually said by him though!

Thoughts and one liners from Peter Kay...

Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.

At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.

One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.

You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.

Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator (Thenturned it upside down).

Reading when you're drunk is horrible.

Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.

You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.

Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.

You never know where to look when eating a banana.

Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet dog .

Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.

You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.

Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.

The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad.

The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.

Some days you see lots of people on crutches.

Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.

Old women with mobile phones look wrong !

Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.

Old ladies can eat more than you think.

You can't respect a man who carries a dog.

There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something.

No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.

Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.

The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.

People who don't drive slam car doors too hard.

You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.

Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.

Bricks are horrible to carry.

In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.

Watch out for this man - Richard V Rhone

On my bus trip this morning from Montreal, Canada to Burlington, Vermont, I met one of the most interesting characters I've met in a long long time. His name is Richard Rhone.

After a brief discussion about his Sansa MP3 player, he showed us a photo of himself with President Kennedy. In fact he was the first black man to ever guard and serve a US President. I was amazed! What a great story.

Richard had a great persona and a great round afro. He said his life had been blessed, telling us about many things that had happened throughout his life. He used to be a clothing model, he acted in a movie playing Matthew Henson- who was the first black explorer to go to the North Pole. Richard was also the first black stockbroker in New England and almost by accident, he ended up negotiating pay increases and endorsements for some of the biggest Montreal sports stars of the 70's. He is an inspiration.

Now the next part of the story may seem unbelievable, but this man truly seemed like a genuine soul. I hope with all my heart that he achieves the long hard journey that he is embarking.

Some years ago he had a brainwave: He decided that this little brainwave may work out in his favour, so he visited an agent and patented a very simple idea. He thought that communications companies could make a very large sum of money if they offered their current and future clients high speed internet accesss for their current dial-up price. Very simple and now, as you all know, a very common offer.

After the patent had been drawn up, some of the major Canadian and US communications companies were approached with the idea in exchange for a reasonable sum. They all ignored him. And yet, one by one, many of them began using this idea to promote their high speed services.

Richard realised he was entitled to some part of the profit, as he owns the patent. He honestly believes that by Christmas he could be an extremely wealthy man. And when I say weathy, I mean billions! He is leading a case to sue the huge telecommunications companies.

At present, he is going through the motions. Due to the fact that a fight with the communications industry is so god damn big, many lawyers are refusing to help, but he is making headway and building up much evidence and support.

Richard is a genuine man and if anything like this is achieved, he truly wants to inject his money back into the world in a big way: "To feed the world."

Richard gave me a copy of the great photo, as seen above, and kindly gave me his contact details.

I am starting my support for this great cause and will be keeping close contact on what Richard Rhome accomplishes. Hopefully, R V Rhone updates will become an important part of my blog.

Remember the name, he could be very important one day.

Don't Drink And ........................

...............Carry your laptop in your back pack.


I just learned the hardway.

On Wednesday I got really drunk and hadn't eaten. A vaugue memory of me throwing my bag has resulted in this lovely display on my poor Macbook's screen.

Anew screen is arriving from ebay (approx $200) and I have found a repair guide on Ifixit.com. The Apple service people wanted almost $800 so I have to do this myself.

Wish me luck and i'll try and keep some blogging going until I get this problem ironed out.

Gene-ious

Aliens!!!!! No wait..... we created them...... well what are they then?.....What is the world coming to?

According to a story I read on Sunday on Guardian Unlimited, we are on the verge of hearing, from scientist Craig Venter, a breakthrough in which he has created the first new form of artificial life on earth!

Know ethical or not, it really is amazing and scary and confusing....argghhhhhhhhh, what does it all mean for life and existence?

The story, which in full can be found here says that:

"The new life form will depend for its ability to replicate itself and metabolise on the molecular machinery of the cell into which it has been injected, and in that sense it will not be a wholly synthetic life form. However, its DNA will be artificial, and it is the DNA that controls the cell and is credited with being the building block of life."

I eagerly wait to hear any further news and am still struggling with the concept and my issues regarding the morality of the whole thing.

It's almost like the start of a comic book so if we don't hear any news or he just say that the experiment failed.... well..... we can safely assume that after going back (alone) to the lab late one night he was overtaken by the new life form and the artificial DNA overtook his body and took control of his brain making him a superhuman evil genius capable of destroying the earth and intent of spreading regenerating plastic DNA beings all over the entire globe........ phew gotta take a deep breath now, oh and a reality check.

So what do you think about the moral issues and the possible implications of such a technological/scientific leap? Or alternatively do you even give a damn?

A load of Pollocks

Whilst haphazardly journeying through the interweb I fell and stumbled across this rather interesting time waster.

jacksonpollock.org

It allows literally anyone to create deep meaningful pieces of priceless classic art in the style of that famous artist who's name I can't remember :)

As you can see above, I really have showed my immense talent in this creation. Maybe if you really focus you will be able to create a slice of your own genius!

You can learn abit more about the real creative genius behind this here.

I hope you enjoy this for a little bit of fun.

Oh and this post isn't sponsered. I just liked the site.

Quit your Jibber Jabber

After reading the first few lines of Bush's recent meme post 'My Desktop' waves of nostalgia for the 80's came spilling back into my head.

I am an 80's child thrown into this world back in '81 I grew up lapping up American television and believing that America really was the place of Dreams.

Of course I was aware that the good old US of A had it's problems but gladly a certain group of Soldiers of Fortune were there to make sure that it was all flattened out.. oh and most importantly under strict orders (and funding) of Charles Hestons mob no one ever died.

The A-team, as cheesy and completely unrealistic as it was, was a real fun part of my youth. I think I used to watch it on ITV on a Saturday early evening and BA was truely a man to look up to, even though he only stands 5'10 (surprising, I know!).

A while ago I heard that there may be plans for a big screen version of this old Tv classic. This could possibly be the biggest movie mistake ever, or it could turn out to be one of the most entertaining films in many years. None the less I have been figuring out my Dream A Team for a while now and my current line up is as the photo above shows:

Hannibal - Jack Nicolson
Howling Mad Murdoch - Jim Carey (Almost certainly the ONLY choice!)
Face Man - Jude Law
BA Baracus - Michael Clark Duncan

Jack Nicolson is in my opinion an acting god. In recent films such as About Scmidt and The Departed he has shown his accute attention to making himself somebody else is still in tact and I still think he has more than 'what it takes' to pull off the subtle blend of comedic lines and authoritative father figurism needed for a modern Hannibal.

Jim Carey pigeon holed himself in early performances as a madcap clown but recent offerings have shown his solid serious side. Blend these two where needed and Murdoch is almost unchanged from his original form.

Jude Law can be hit or miss. He is a good actor but has made some medicore decisions in his time. However he is smooth when needed and carries the looks to pull off 'the ladies' man persona needed for the role. I say 'Give him the job'.

BA is the hardest one to replace. Two faces come to mind and the one I did not choose is Ving Rhames because he is the popular choice. I believe Michael Clark Duncan on the other hand has shown he can be mean and sensitive and he certainly carries the huge huge presence needed to attempt to follow in Mt T's shadow.

For a while I have thought that only Mr T could play BA but I understand the need to move on. And also if you watch this video below you will see that he is much more adept at singing and should be pursuing a singing and dance career.




So who do you think should make up the new A-Team?

Further reading on the movie news: http://www.ateamshrine.co.uk/movie.php

A new baby is born

Firstly apologies for being gone for a few days.

I have been having troubled times with my first jump into Wordpress.

An idea I had a while ago for a directory website has finally been born (in it's initial incarnation anyway).

I have been battling for the last few days to get my head around Wordpress and bend it to my needs for this directory site.

So here it is www.largequalityprints.co.uk

The function of the site is to provide a comprehensive list of large format print suppliers in the UK with easy area search, free of charge. Revenue (if any!) will initially come from Adsense.

The next steps are to keep working on the functionality (improving the search, add listings daily (as it will take a while before people are contacting me with their details) and also delve into the weird and wonderful world of Search Engine Optimization!!

Please let me know what you think (honestly) as this is my first try at anything even remotely business based.

There are also many more ideas up my sleeves and hopefully I can start work on some of them sometime soon.